I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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