His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
You smell like stripper and shame
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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