Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
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