Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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