She kept calling me her DD, which I assumed meant designated driver, so I was confused because I don't even have a car. Found out later it means designated dick. It's what her and her friends use as code for the guy they want to hook up with at the end of the night. I feel so used.
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
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