saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
Randomize
