Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
i barfeds in our rink
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
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