Hey when I die alone will you come by often enough so that my cats don’t eat my face?
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
