Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
Randomize
