Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
