I seem to have left my pride at pride
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
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