guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
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