Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
I think your dad took our porno
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
Randomize
