new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
Randomize