Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
Randomize