ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
Randomize
