We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
this boner is exhausting
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
Randomize
