Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
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