sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
I didn't notice because vodka
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
Randomize
