I am spending my child support on dildos
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
I can't trust your balls anymore.
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
Randomize
