I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
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