u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize
