So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
Randomize
