My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
My Sexting was not on an AP level
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