Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
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