Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
Life without a bra equals bliss.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Randomize
