Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
Randomize
