My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
Randomize
