I don't remember. Are we still dating?
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
Randomize
