Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
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