you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
why do cheetos always look like penises
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
Randomize
