is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
Randomize