it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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