Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
Randomize
