She went from zero to smokin in five shots
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
I wish you could order shots online.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
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