His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
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