How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
Randomize
