The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
Randomize
