My brain says no but my pants say off.
Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
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