your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
