i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
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