And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
Randomize
