How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize
