i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
