Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize