Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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