Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
My new roommate looks like a troll. Or a serial killer. So if I disappear, show this text to the cops.
Randomize
