Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
