He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
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