uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
I love having hate sex.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
Randomize
