thus making me awesome and them whores
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Randomize
