He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
then he tried to convert me to islam
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Randomize
