Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
Randomize
