I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
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