i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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