idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
If I die, sorry about rent.
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Randomize
