I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
Randomize
