i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
home. puking in laundry basket.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
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