i just google imaged poop.
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
Randomize
