Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
Randomize
