Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
Randomize
