Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
Randomize
