Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
That's when you crack a 10am beer
mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
