i just google imaged poop.
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
My apartment stinks of burning failure
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