Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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