dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
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