Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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