I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
Randomize
