I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
