Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
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