How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Randomize
