This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
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