I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
Randomize
