Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Randomize
