Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
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